Det magiske øjeblik
Siden januar 2010 har 50 konfliktmæglere landet over indtaget pladsen som moderatorere for offer og gerningsmand i straffesager. Gruppen af konfliktmæglere udgør en blandet skare af folk med lange uddannelser og andre helt uden. Ansættelses kriterium nummer et handler om en eneste ting: personlighed.
Af Lærke Kløvedal, 05.10.10 06:21
Termokanden står på bordet ved siden af the breve, Nescafé og en skål med frugt. Det er en del af aftalen. På bordet ligger to blokke og to kuglepenne. Det er vigtigt med de blokke. Det er detaljerne, der udgør rammerne for det forestående møde. En gerningsmand og en forurettet skal om lidt indtage pladserne om bordet med Amina Carsce Nissen som konfliktmægleren i midten.
Amina Carsce Nissen satte sig til bordet første gang i maj 2010, og er dermed en del af det første hold af konfliktmæglere, der er blevet udvalgt og uddannet gennem politiet.
Med en uddannelse som sociolog med en overbygning bl.a. i forhandling og mægling virker jobbet oplagt. Men ligesom det er gældende for de andre mæglere, er det personligheden, der har været den udslagsgivende kvalifikation. Hendes autoritet fylder rummet, stemmen er rolig og blikket viger ikke.
Det er konfliktmægleren alene, der har kontakten med de to parter og ansvaret for mæglingen.
Når gerningsmanden har erkendt sin skyld og har sagt ja til tilbuddet om konfliktråd, modtager mægleren en konvolut fra politiet med person oplysninger, et kort oprids af sagen og kriminalitetens art. Herefter kontakter mægleren gerningsmanden og den forurettede og samtykker de, går de praktiske aftaler om mødet i gang.
- I de indledende telefonsamtaler handler det primært om at være mødeleder, forklarer Amina Carsce Nissen. Jeg taler meget lidt, og oftest slet ikke, om følelser på det her tidspunkt. Jeg gør det meget klart at mødet er frivilligt, jeg taler med dem om hvad et konfliktråd indebærer, og at jeg har tavshedspligt, med mindre der dukker nye afgørende beviser op under samtalen. Jeg understreger, at jeg ikke kommer fra politiet og fortæller dem så de helt lav praktiske detaljer omkring mødet.
For reglerne for mødet er altafgørende. Reglerne repræsenterer den eneste tryghed i gensynet. Et gensyn både gerningsmanden og den forurettede oftest har frygtet i lige høj grad. For den forurettede bliver det ofte en legemliggørelse af en angst, en frygt der har siddet i kroppen siden krænkelsen skete. For gerningsmanden handler det både om at se sin dårlige samvittighed i øjnene, og ofte om muligheden for at sige undskyld. Og måske modtage en accept.
Mødet foregår i et neutralt lokale (medborgerhus e.l.) og den forurettede ankommer til mødet før gerningsmanden. Den forurettede sidder altid nærmest døren, mægleren sidder i midten og gerningsmanden bagerst i lokalet.
- De første minutter er et mareridt for begge parter. Nogen gange bliver jeg nødt til konkret at tage styringen fysisk. Tage dem ved armen og sætte dem på stolen. Jeg bruger de første minutter til at få pulsen ned og starter med at ridse aftalen op for mæglingen: Hver part har taletid, som den anden ikke må afbryde. Parterne må ikke tale nedsættende til hinanden. Sker det, afbrydes mæglingen omgående, understreger Amina Carsce Nissen.
Herefter starter den svageste part med at genfortælle, hvordan han oplevede krænkelsen. Her begynder Amina Carsce Nissen at spørge meget, og i detaljer: hvad for noget tøj havde du på, hvem var du sammen med, hvor mange øl havde du drukket. Hun forsøger at få dem til at genopleve og visualisere hændelsen så detaljeret som muligt.
- Det øjeblik, hvor parterne går fra at kommunikere gennem mig, til de pludselig taler til hinanden og jeg læner mig tilbage og iagttager. Det er magisk, siger Amina Carsce Nissen.
Ofte ender mæglingen ud i en aftale nedskrevet på papir formuleret med parternes egne ord. Mægleren gennemgår aftalen og parterne underskriver.
For begge parter handler mødet om personificering af negative følelser, der gennem en succesfyldt mægling ender i en eller anden form for genoprettelse. Det er de følelser mægleren skaber rammerne for, helt ned til the brevet og blokken på bordet. Fungerer rammerne og bliver der etableret en platform af tryghed i rummet, går begge parter oftest fra mødet en hel del mere lettede og afklarede end da de kom.
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